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EXPOSED! Ten Unbelievably Dead Punchlines by Top Nigerian Rappers

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0Today, we’re going to mess around with Nigerian hip hop. You know, I used to be one of those so called ‘hip hop heads.’ If it wasn’t Methodman, Redman, Scarface, Rakim, Pac , Biggie, Big Pun, Slaughterhouse or some underground rapper that 98% of the population didn’t know, I wasn’t bumping it. We were the hard kids in baggies dissing the skinny jeans kids.

Then with the emergence of rappers like Modenine, M.I and the Terry tha Rapman, I decided to give Nigerian hip hop a chance. I remember hearing Modenine’s ‘Pentium IX’, my mind was blown. I remember staying up all night to hear M.I’s ‘Talk About It’ over and over again.

More so, as I grew older, I realized that music is essentially about the melody. So any musician that could make me nod my head and move my feet is cool with me. All those hard rappers talking about how they kill people and smoke all day have no claim on me no more. Don’t get me wrong, I still appreciate talent. I still invest my data more on conscious and underground music than the mainstream ones. I’m just not as stiff as I used to be. No more forcing myself to hate an artiste just ‘cause he has lots of fans. Shit, I’m into Wizkid now and I think Solid Star is probably Nigeria’s most underrated artiste.

I enjoyed my relationship with Nigerian hip hop for a while. Then the money started coming and they started running out of Ideas. Witty punchlines were replaced by watery ones.

When you try and raise this, the rappers will call you a hater who’s just hating on their success, like Mr Incredible said in his latest single, ‘Chairman,’ “have you eaten today? Then why are you hating?” This piece is just to let them know that we the fans are disappointed in them for putting in far less time thinking of intelligent punchlines than they do drafting lists of rich men to praise in their next single (refer to M.I’s ‘Chairman’ and Iceprince’s ‘Aboki’).

Ladies and gentlemen, Nigerian hip hop is the new Fuji. If your favourite rapper is here, please don’t be mad at me. I’m not saying they’re wack, i’m just saying that particular line is. And if you feel these aren’t wack, please forgive me, I have high standards. If you feel you have heard wacker punchlines, feel free to use the comment section.

So let started by clicking on Continue Reading 🙂

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